Making the Best of What You Have

03Aug09

Things have been so up and down for me the last year. I’m unhappy with many aspects of my life. Things I want to improve, seem to get worse, and lately, I’ve just felt like I’ve reached the low point.

But I want things to get better, so I’ve been thinking about the ways I can make my life better, given my circumstances. So, I’ve come up with some things I can do to maximize my time and make my life a little better.

My schedule during the week runs pretty tight. There’s not a lot of time leftover after dinner, spending time with the kids and trying to fit in other stuff. It makes it hard to feel like I am accomplishing much. The weekends are usually a messy mixture of trying to fit in housecleaning, spending time with the kids, spending time with the husband,  and finding time for myself.

Depression was the next thing to hit me, and I’ve felt so hopeless about my situation. I barely spend any time with my kids, my relationship with my husband has gone down the drain. My job sucks and I’m miserable there.  It all just piled up and I’ve been feeling awful.

But I’m tired of feeling awful. So I’ve been thinking about what I could do right now to make my situation better. Mostly, a change in my attitude and perspective.

At some point I’m going to work on a schedule for household things, but a few things that I’ve been working on:

-I can’t just up and quit my job until I pay off some things and get in a better financial position. So, if I get very tight with the finances, I can make this happen. Now, I constantly track my spending and obsess over my bank account balance.

-Exercise makes you feel good and have more energy. Since it’s hard to fit exercise time in at home, I thought perhaps I could use my lunch break to do some walking. It’s not the best, but it’s better than nothing.

-I can also use lunch time to run errands, get caught up on things like mending socks, and do other odds and ends.

At some point, I’ll begin to head in the direction I want, but there’s no point being absolutely miserable in the meantime. There will be some days where I feel down, but the thought that I am working towards a positive goes a long way to stopping the negativity.

I have a feeling I will probably be taking a break from my fiction, but I’d like to think that blogging will be therapeutic in a way, so I hope to be here more regularly.

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