Piper’s Diaper
Okay, so someone had to know about this, so I’m nominating all of the blogosphere to have a laugh with me.
My daughter went to climb up in my lap earlier, and as I help her up, I notice this very hard something in her diaper. I’m thinking, Good Lord, what does she have in her diaper?I reach my hand down there to find out and pull out this toy cell phone she got at Christmas. My aunt, knowing my daughter all too well, got her a sparkly purse and loaded it with a wallet, a toy cell phone, a brush, a mirror, and chapstick (which I handily removed and hid, foreseeing a great deal of chapstick all over my house otherwise).
So I pull the phone from her underpants, and give it back to her. This is one of those days were she refuses to wear clothes, so she wears her diaper, and I bump the thermostat up a notch. She takes the phone and promptly stuffs in back in her diaper. Now, one of two scenarios are left here. She’s either going to pee all over the thing and ruin it, or she’s going to plop down and hurt her bottom on it. But she’s not to be convinced right now, so I scoop her up and take her to the bathroom where her daddy is finishing his shower to show him what’s she done.
All this time, I’m trying to convince her that it would be a good idea to remove the phone from her diaper, but alas, she is drawing on paper with a toy cell phone on her bottom. Makes for interesting conversation.
Filed under: Kid Stories | 11 Comments
Tags: Funny Kid Stories, Piper
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Okay, my first thought was “Good LORD, she just put her hand down in there without looking first?!” Gah.
Can you tell I’m not a parent ? 😀
I am a parent and sadly, that was NOT my first thought. I thought “That’s what I would have done.” and THEN I thought “Good grief, what’s wrong with me…”
And I’m laughing and laughing and laughing. 😀
Zach occasionally figures out where the little straps are that holds on his diaper, much to my dismay. He woke up the other morning, and I took him, smiling at me, out of the crib and took the blanket off and he was naked! And I go “AAAH!”
Fortunately, he mostly doesn’t know about it.
I can’t wait until he can stuff toys down his diaper. I’m going to get him pointy toys, to discourage that. NOBODY stuff Batman, or a Triceratops figure down their pants. (If you are reading this, and you do, I Do Not Want To Know, Please)
I remember, from babysitting days, what boys like to do when they find themselves sans diaper.
Did I mention I didn’t babysit much ?
Yesterday, she ran away from me while we were trying to get pajamas on. She strips out of those and proceeds to put on her pink cowboy boots.
So there she is, tromping around the house naked in pink cowboy boots. Quite fun.
This evening, she insisted on get spicy dried peppers on her pizza, which she handled well. She’s definitely got her momma’s spicy food gene, cuz all she did was drink a little extra.
Which makes her, er, rather tougher than I am. I tried those when I was about twelve, and nearly died. I tried them again when I was a larger, hardier twenty-one-year-old, and nearly died. So she can out-spice me.
(ALso, she can out-naked-in-pink-cowboy-boots-me, but that’s a given.)
While pregnant with her, all I wanted during the first trimester was lots of hot wings and big bowls of fresh fruit.
I’d pack away a dozen hot wings and a giant bowl of fruit frequently, and I still managed to lost 3lbs during that time.
I’m with MidnightMuse. My first thought was sticking your hand down there without looking, but now I’m wondering where you and your husband carry your cell phones. Do either of you stuff them into your pants’ pocket? (If you just stick them into your pants, I want to hear the story behind it.)
After two years of diapers, you can sort of decipher the contents with a little squeeze. As much as I can talk about the contents of diapers, I’ll avoid that conversation for now.
“Okay, my first thought was “Good LORD, she just put her hand down in there without looking first?!” Gah.”
I am a parent and that was my first response, too. I NEVER put my hand in a diaper without SMELLING their butt first.
Hmm. That doesn’t smell like a poop. What the heck?
Yeah, I would sniff and then dig a hand in. My eldest discovered how to remove his diaper one night. And then he made himself something to paint the crib with. And the walls. His toys. The blanket.
Ugh.
See? A cellphone isn’t so bad.
If you only knew the things I did with the contents of a diaper when I was her age…
She takes her diaper on and off as she pleases, but so far she’s utterly fascinated with using the potty and accidents are held to a minimum.